The stuff of life
Where to begin. I have been working 5 weeks with delegations and am almost completely exhausted beyond comprehension. One of the interesting parts of these two delegations has been that we have seen and talked with many organizations and individuals that I had not previously been exposed to. Dora Maria Tellez is one of those people. She was an integral part of the Sandanista revolution during the 70's and was the commander that took over the city of Leon before the capital city of Managua fell to Sandanista control. This is only one of her many achievements. When she came to speak a few weeks ago she said a few things that struck me. One thing she said was that the people in the developed north live with certainties, there are many things that you can be sure of if you live that life, while in contrast the people of the poor south with only with uncertainties. Even the food for your next meal may be an uncertainty.
This made me think about the way that we live our lives depending on certainties or uncertanties. From my experience here in Nicaragua I have realized that people do not have many expectations. In fact it is normal to try not to have expectations. There is no certainty that a bus will arrive on time, or that it will arrive at all. So you don't expect it will. You get used to waiting. There may be frustration involved, but at the same time you have to have an attitude of acceptance, because getting annoyed isn't going to get you anywhere. There is no certainty that there will be power or water on any given day. It can go out at any time of night or day, it doesn't matter what important activity may be happening, there is no certainty that you will have these basic services on a daily basis. And in fact most people don't. So you go on, inconvenienced, but you go on. I have noticed in my journeys back to the US and in many of my friends and in myself a kind of expectation that everything should and will go our way. Anything that happens, be it on a personal, international or local level happens directly against us, and it is an injustice. We can't believe that they would cut the power, we can't believe that the bus won't arrive, and we don't know what it would be like to not have our next meal appear. There is a general expectation that things will go our way, and if they don't we have been wronged. We have this attitude because we have lived lives full of expectations that have come to fruition. The uncertainties are so few and far between, there are so many people, services and products that we have come to count upon, that we are certain will and should be there for us, we don't know what to do when they aren't. It is an interesting observation that I hope I will continue to take notice of as I go back to the US to live.
The other person who I have gotten to meet is Lilliam. She is Nicaraguan and is working with our current group of delegates. Today over our lunch of papusas someone started asking her about her childhood in Jinotega, an area in the North of Nicaragua. She began to tell us how at five years old she had begun working with the Sandanista revolution as her mother gave her wrapped packages of bombs to take to a finca about a kilometer away from their house. Her mother would wrap them up as presents and Lilliam would take them to the finca where they went to get the milk for her younger brothers and sisters. At 9 years old she knew what she was doing as she walked in on her mother making the bombs. Then she explained how at 12 she had become commander of a 120 woman military unit and had been forced to shoot her AK47 at the feet of one the women of her unit because the woman had disobeyed her. She talked about how her mother had taken them to Sandanista rallies when they were young and one time the National Guard showed up and her mother pushed her underneath a car to save her from the Guardia. They saw what her mother had done and pulled her out from underneath the car with a rope with a hook attached to the end that they threw into her shin. When she was out in the open her mother told her to run with her siblings and they watched at the Guardia began to beat her mother until the other Sandanistas pulled the National Guard off of her mother and saved her. On the way home Lilliam's mother told the children not to cry, because if their father saw he would be very angry. The final story she told was about her brother who was killed by the National Guard. When they went to bury him the National Guard showed up at the cemetery to take the body from the family. They took the body and began beating it against the coffin, Lilliam explained they had arrived to intimidate the pueblo. The people eventually chased them off and they were left in peace to put the body into the ground.
Many of the students were shocked by the things that Lilliam did at such a young age. I also am continually surprised by the actions of young people who fought in the Sandanista revolution. I told Lilliam that I thought it was because those of us who have never had to be in such a situation cannot imagine ourselves doing such things as the young people did during the revolution. Similarly I find myself in awe by the things that people do here to survive everyday and often wonder if I would be able to carry such a burden. A very close friend of mine once told me that once you are in the situation you just do it, because you have to. I guess I still wonder what my response would be, and how I would react...I have more to say, but am too tired to finish right now.
This made me think about the way that we live our lives depending on certainties or uncertanties. From my experience here in Nicaragua I have realized that people do not have many expectations. In fact it is normal to try not to have expectations. There is no certainty that a bus will arrive on time, or that it will arrive at all. So you don't expect it will. You get used to waiting. There may be frustration involved, but at the same time you have to have an attitude of acceptance, because getting annoyed isn't going to get you anywhere. There is no certainty that there will be power or water on any given day. It can go out at any time of night or day, it doesn't matter what important activity may be happening, there is no certainty that you will have these basic services on a daily basis. And in fact most people don't. So you go on, inconvenienced, but you go on. I have noticed in my journeys back to the US and in many of my friends and in myself a kind of expectation that everything should and will go our way. Anything that happens, be it on a personal, international or local level happens directly against us, and it is an injustice. We can't believe that they would cut the power, we can't believe that the bus won't arrive, and we don't know what it would be like to not have our next meal appear. There is a general expectation that things will go our way, and if they don't we have been wronged. We have this attitude because we have lived lives full of expectations that have come to fruition. The uncertainties are so few and far between, there are so many people, services and products that we have come to count upon, that we are certain will and should be there for us, we don't know what to do when they aren't. It is an interesting observation that I hope I will continue to take notice of as I go back to the US to live.
The other person who I have gotten to meet is Lilliam. She is Nicaraguan and is working with our current group of delegates. Today over our lunch of papusas someone started asking her about her childhood in Jinotega, an area in the North of Nicaragua. She began to tell us how at five years old she had begun working with the Sandanista revolution as her mother gave her wrapped packages of bombs to take to a finca about a kilometer away from their house. Her mother would wrap them up as presents and Lilliam would take them to the finca where they went to get the milk for her younger brothers and sisters. At 9 years old she knew what she was doing as she walked in on her mother making the bombs. Then she explained how at 12 she had become commander of a 120 woman military unit and had been forced to shoot her AK47 at the feet of one the women of her unit because the woman had disobeyed her. She talked about how her mother had taken them to Sandanista rallies when they were young and one time the National Guard showed up and her mother pushed her underneath a car to save her from the Guardia. They saw what her mother had done and pulled her out from underneath the car with a rope with a hook attached to the end that they threw into her shin. When she was out in the open her mother told her to run with her siblings and they watched at the Guardia began to beat her mother until the other Sandanistas pulled the National Guard off of her mother and saved her. On the way home Lilliam's mother told the children not to cry, because if their father saw he would be very angry. The final story she told was about her brother who was killed by the National Guard. When they went to bury him the National Guard showed up at the cemetery to take the body from the family. They took the body and began beating it against the coffin, Lilliam explained they had arrived to intimidate the pueblo. The people eventually chased them off and they were left in peace to put the body into the ground.
Many of the students were shocked by the things that Lilliam did at such a young age. I also am continually surprised by the actions of young people who fought in the Sandanista revolution. I told Lilliam that I thought it was because those of us who have never had to be in such a situation cannot imagine ourselves doing such things as the young people did during the revolution. Similarly I find myself in awe by the things that people do here to survive everyday and often wonder if I would be able to carry such a burden. A very close friend of mine once told me that once you are in the situation you just do it, because you have to. I guess I still wonder what my response would be, and how I would react...I have more to say, but am too tired to finish right now.
posted by Emily at 1:37 PM
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